|The only training I could do|
Easing myself into the Ice at 0 degrees, my chest was so tight, the pain was all encompassing. I managed 150m, of the first 100m I just couldn’t figure out how to stay alive, being a swimmer seemed so lost, swimming had nothing to do with success todayI just could not sort out my breathing, I couldn’t compartmentalise the pain, I could not even acknowledge what I was experiencing-my body was being hit with so much physical change that I panicked and got out. I was terrified I was going to die. It was fear, fear of not knowing what was happening. I could not will my arms forward, turning my face into the Ice was searing pain. How do I keep moving? How can you trust yourself to the next step into the unknown beyond the comfort zone of letting myself go. This was terror-all these emotions, all these changes and pain, all for the first time. This was not about swimming.
You can perceive Fear as Danger and it can be. The body responds in a way that overwhelms you, breathing becomes difficult, you gulp oxygen, your vision becomes tunnel and your ability to process your environment and your safety is compromised, you most likely are a danger to yourself. There is absolute physiology of stress and real emotion and at that moment you are experiencing it. It is real but this is manageable anxiety.